Meet my Family

For the past year I have attempted to collect "research" for a special blog post on a subject particularly interesting me to. I recently realized that if I was going to abide by traffic laws and not endanger myself or others, then I was never going to get all the pics i needed to write a post about these:

The family car sticker people.

One question:

why?

I'm not only highly annoyed by these, im completely frusterated by their existence. For one, im of the mindset that one should never "stick" their car. I like to keep mine clean and sleek. They are simply distractions. Bumper stickers are funny, but i'd rather not deal with ruining my paint job. Then, there are number stickers detailing the distances you can run (13.1, 26.2) Great, my car can out run you. Then you have sports stickers reflecting your fav team. I dont need to give an Auburn fan one more reason to be pissed when they think i've cut them off (clearly I dont do that).

But, if you must, why stick people families? I see it as parents making it clear to possible creeps that "Yes, I drive a Chrystler Mini Van! These are indeed my children! Follow me home, see where I live! Stalk my family!"

Then you have those that go a step further and add the pets to the mix. "Fido: if found, return to the blue Honda Pilot you see everyday as you pass Elm Street" Do these people think their family is really that special? Apparently. You know the people have problems just like the rest of us, but at least their car reflects the perfect family, right? What about more non traditional families? I have seen "Two mommies stickers" (on the internet, not in the Bama) but I also found this gem:

This is more than two mommies. This is "Daddy has two wives." Polygomist stickers! Now, the gal on the far right could be the daughter. But then we have "Perfecet family, (besides out sluttey daughter) sticker." It's possible. Not as likely to be displayed publically, but at least their being honest, right?

I wish more soccer moms or football dads would have the guts to tell us the truth. I wish just once I could stare at this back window as I wait for the light to turn:

That's what im talking about!

But, let's take it a step further. Kara this one's for you:

If we are going to have to deal with these stickers long term, please people, make them interesting for the rest of us.

Odd? Yes. Would a creep follow you home? No.

People, i beg of you. Please stop sticking stick figures of yourself and your family all over your ride. Spare us the "perfect family" routine, spare your car, and spare my sanity.