Potty Problems

I have a problem with public toilets. Specifically the one in my office building. I dont mind them, I just dont think the other people in my building know how to properly use them. This, in turn, makes potty visits frusterating. Here are some different situations I encounter almost daily.

First, there are those out there that use the sanitary seat covers. You are ok with me, as long as you dispose of them after. Id rather not touch that after you, thanks though.

Then, there are the squaters amoung us (this might be you). Did your mom tell you to squat and hover?  Well, if so THIS IS NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE TOILET BEHAVIOR! You are the reason behind my frusteration. Because, lets be honest, that technique is never clean, and only a small percentage of squaters are cleaners. The one caveat to this rule is if you are visiting an Asian country, if so, click here. If not, and you are amoung the squad of squatters out there, then this message is for you! Our moms might have told us to squat because it's more sanitary (which is false), but they also taught us to "please be neat and wipe the seat." However, from my experience, most squaters are not also cleaners.

There is also what is called the "sanitary toilet" that you find in most airports. This one already has the automatic seat covers, yet inevitably, you will still find pee on the cover. The squater didnt even trust the sanitary cover that they didnt have to touch! Push the button and sit people, they have done the work for you.

With my increased water intake from running and trying to be healthy, i have to visit to the ladies room probably 8-10 times a day. (The really frusterating part is that the bathroom is not in my office, but that's another post.) Of those 8-10 visits, I can honestly say that 6-8 of them are spent first cleaning up after the squater before me. Because, i'm a sitter as all others should be.

My final message tonight is this. If you are a squater, I understand, I use to be one too. But, you pee on yourself one to many times, and you have to convert to sitting. Try it, you might like it. If you are scared, watch this instructional video. I'm serious, i'm sick of cleaning up after you.

This is a public service announcement from your local chapter of sitting and shitting.